A Mothers Loss of a Child 

​They say Hope begins in the dark, that faith is the bird that feels light even when the sky is still dim.  But with every tomorrow, we carry our past….. It echoes beneath our feet every step we take.  There are no clean slates.  Second chances are earned in the choices we make.  In what we choose to forget and in what we forgive.  With each choice we make, we are led somewhere new.  But with every step I take your memory haunts me.  I never used to dream, but now, every time I close my eyes, I see you.  I see the nightmare of the past.  It’s been years since I woke up to find you gone.  Our tragedy, it clings to me, like the chapters in the book I will write one day.  It’s up to me to preserve it on paper, to tell your story, and feel these feelings in hopes of heartache one day healing.  I am struggling to wrap my mind around the fact that you are really gone.  To know that I will never hear your voice again, or see you get married one day, or have a family of your own.  You were strong enough to bring a daughter of your own into this world, and it helps to know that there is a piece of you still on this earth, and I pray that I get to tell her about her mother one day.  How strong you were to survive the streets of San Francisco, and the struggles you faced all alone.  I prayed so hard, for so many years that someone would come into your life that would lead you to Jesus, and that you would finally find peace, and be set free from all the pain.  It hurts more than words can say that you will never find the Hope and healing I wanted you to find in this life, but it comforts me to know that you are in a place where there is no more pain, and that you have finally found peace.